Preston Glenn Marquard

Awakened to Healing

I picture you now
Surrounded by Light
A smile on your face
Glowing and bright!

There is no more pain
Distorting your face
I see you laughing
In a beautiful place.

You set your soul free
In an instant of time
You could take no more
Oh, child of mine.

I understand why
Your blessings were few
Life had betrayed you
You must start anew.

My grief was extreme
In those dark early years
Numb, broken-hearted
Alone with my tears.

So many questions
To understand why;
And deeply regretting
No last good-bye.

I felt that my life
Like yours, ended, too
I couldn't go on
My child, without you.

All I could feel
Was an endless pain
I never thought
I could laugh again.

Then you came to me
In a dream one nite
Your arms wrapped 'round me
And held me tight.

I knew, I KNEW
That this was real
My heart opened up
And I started to heal.

I realized then
That there is no death
Our souls move on
With our last Earthly breath.

The joy of living
Will come again
It comes, then it goes
But you must let it in.

We never can know
What's around the next bend
But one thing is certain
Our love never ends.

Joni Greever for Preston

Joni Greever (Mom)

June 25, 2011

I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND

I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND

I'm tired, so tired of living
Pretending all is well
No one seems to understand
My life's a living hell.

The pain you can't imagine
And there is no escape
It is gnawing, unrelenting
Sealing up my fate.

It feels like burning acid
Courses through my veins
Mocking, evil demons
Dance within my brain.

Sleep eludes me every nite
I dread each coming day
My soul is dying bit by bit
While others laugh and play.

Dark, haunting images
Are always at the fore
My reality is hopeless
I can't take it anymore.

People say they love me
But I know it isn't so
Anything worth loving
Left me long ago.

I am empty of emotions
I have no more to give
All searing, stabbing, choking pain
I've lost the will to live.

I wish I didn't have to go
I know you couldn't tell
The blackness that descended
Nothing could dispel.

I wanted to be happy
I pleaded, begged, and cried
But forces kept the light away
And now my soul has died.

I cannot face a future
Filled with emptiness and pain
So I am going where I hope
To find my joy again.

~Joni Greever for son Preston Glenn Marquard 1976-2007

Joni Greever (Mom)

April 16, 2011

"Don't judge me for how I left this world,
Remember the love I gave
A lot of grief will follow me
For the decision that I made
Changes appear in everyone's life
Some good, some bad
The one I chose for myself
Made everyone very sad
But in time the memories will heal the hurt of hearts
And my presence will be felt by all with an inner peace
Remember me when the sun is bright and laughter fills the air
And a moonlit night and a whisper of wind
Will tell you I am there
Don't look down on my family
Or fill their hearts with blame
For my leaving them without good-byes
Has left them so much pain
If I could go back in time
I would say a last good-bye
I would tell them to look to tomorrow
And for me.please do not cry."

author unknown.

Linda Quick

June 10, 2009

articles on depression and suicide

http://www.opednews.com/articles/Fatal-Depression-by-Joni-Greever-081127-208.html
http://www.opednews.com/populum/diarypage.php?did=11925

Joni Greever (Mom)

June 5, 2009

If heaven had a phone

I Cannot dial your Number,
I Can't get through to You,
I Called the Operator,
She did all that she could Do.

There is no code for Heaven,
I Cannot place the Call,
No Numbers left to Call,
I Reckon I've tried them All.

If Heaven had a Phone,
I'd Ring you Every Day,
If Heaven had a Phone,
There's things I want to Say.

To Tell you that I love You,
And Miss you Every Day,
How much I prayed to God,
That He could have let you Stay,
but heaven dont have a phone,
so in our hearts you will always stay.
lots of love theresa xxx

Theresa Waters

June 5, 2009

Why I Left, Mom

Utterly hopeless
You're nothing! screamed my mind
I sought escape
I couldn't run
No place to hide
From demons in my head!


My life before this moment
Had been nothing but a waste
They'll be better off without me
Another moment I can't face.


I hesitated briefly
As my brain screamed on and on
To end the torture that was my life
I'm at the end. It hurts. I'm gone.


Eyes wide open to the wonder
Of the Love that wrapped me close
And gently held me Loving, Loving
I'd found my way back Home.


Only after healing
Did I finally realize
How much my passing caused in you
Pain I thought was only mine.


Let go, forgive, and from the Light
With just a thought I'll be
Instantly beside you
I Love you, trust in me.


As you continue on Life's path,
At times you'll still despair,
And miss me, crying out my name,
Wishing I was there.


Reach out to all the others
Entrapped by their own minds
Help them to remember
Their God-Self deep inside.

Tell them to declare, "I Am!"
Powerful, healing words;
God, Himself, cannot be whole
Without their missing piece!

Banish the fear that fuels the dark
Light sparklers in your mind
Send them out to cover Earth
The dark fear cannot hide.

When a dragonfly seems to linger
Just a second long;
Or the osprey gazes down on you
And seems to say, "Look what I can do!"
That's me; I'm having fun.


Smile through your tears and please forgive
I never meant to hurt!
When this chapter of your journey ends
You'll find yourself back Home.

I'll once again walk through the door
"Hey, Mom!" you'll hear me say.
Time is now forgotten
Like I never went away.


2007 © Joni Greever - Preston's Mom

Joni Greever (Mom)

June 4, 2009